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Dr. Circ (satire)

 

Hello, my name is Dr. Circ. Allow me to tell you why you should circumcise your son! You should have your boy Circumcised because it’s cleaner.

 

After all, boys are too stupid to keep themselves clean, and It’s not like it’s fused to the head at birth or anything or that it would be simple to wipe like a finger or anything. Goodness no.

 

Now, UTIs is a scary thing. It’s not like girls get it or anything or that the antibiotics that we do prescribe for UTIs would work just as well on boys who have it. Or that there’s 1% difference between them.

 

STIs and HIVs are so super scary. We could teach about safe sex and condoms, but I rather we just cut him up. And it’s not like girls get STIs or HIVs.

 

Now, penile cancer is a scary thing. It’s not like it’s rare or only in elderly men. Sure we get cancers in all parts of our body, diseases and all and it may be in girls too, but circumcision is what’s important. Forget all those brain cancers, lung cancers, heart diseases or any other cancers, it’s penile cancer, the rare ones that you never had to worry about.

 

And if that’s not good enough, then you should be concerned with bullies in school picking on your Son. Your bullies should have more rights over your son. It’s not like girls get bullied or that bullies bully just to make themselves feel better! I mean, forget all those kids wearing glasses, or are being bullied for being too short or too tall or too fat or too skinny and so on. It’s his penis we care about. Oh, the tragedy of being made fun of for having foreskin in the showers, why it’s not like boys have less than average size penis and won’t be made fun of. But we just want his foreskin.

 

And parents should have every right to their son’s genitals, because he’s not a person and he shouldn’t have autonomy or rights. Goodness no, he’s the property of his parents. What’s up, mama, do you love the look of his dick? What about you papa? Is your son’s dick really that important to look like yours? Naw, it’s not like you’re sick perverts or anything.

 

Oh and ladies hate foreskins. They all do. Every single lady in the world hates them. Trust me, your son would never get a date. We don’t carve up girls genitals to appease boys, because girls are people, not boys. Just ignore over 70% of men worldwide that are not circumcised and have healthy life and a girlfriend (or god forbid, a boyfriend)

 

Now don’t tell me about those hundreds of baby boys who die each year from circumcision, or the botching of circumcision, or that circumcision traumatizes and alters the brain of the infant, or that they go into shock after screaming in agony, or that there’s tens of thousands of specialized nerve ending in the foreskin, or that mothers and fathers regret circumcising their son when they did their research, or that even nurses and doctors realize that circumcision is wrong. Oh, ignore all the wealthy ladies smearing your son’s foreskin on their faces, it’s not like they’re sick perverts or anything. T

 

rust me, I’m a doctor and I know what’s best for your child. Now fork over thousands of dollars.

 

Circumcisionisafraud.com

 

 

Doctorsopposingcircumcision.org

 

 

Yourwholebaby.org

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