abolish prisons so we can live with ted bundys of the world!

 

How to Lose the Public in 5 Words or Less: The “Abolish Prisons” Parade

Last time on Progressive Messaging: Dumpster Fire Edition, we covered how “Defund the Police” was a masterclass in turning thoughtful policy into a punchline. Now, buckle up for the sequel:

“ABOLISH PRISONS.”

Yes. Abolish. As in eliminate, destroy, yeet the entire concept of incarceration into the sun.

Because when people are already anxious about crime, what they really want is a political slogan that sounds like the opening line of a Batman villain manifesto.

 Let’s Start With the Obvious: The Prison System Is a Mess

We should all agree:

• The U.S. has the largest prison population on Earth.

• Private prisons make money off human misery.

• People of color and the poor are wildly overrepresented.

• Solitary confinement is torture.

• Prisons are often warehouses for trauma, not places of rehabilitation.

These are real, urgent, fixable problems.

So what’s the next step?

Apparently: burn it all down and figure it out later.

 “But Abolish Doesn’t Mean Abolish!”

Much like its cousin “Defund,” “Abolish Prisons” isn’t always meant literally—except when it is.

Some activists mean:

“Let’s massively reduce incarceration, especially for non-violent offenders, and invest in restorative justice, housing, education, and healthcare.”

Others mean:

“Prisons are inherently violent, carceral tools of state oppression and should cease to exist entirely, immediately, no exceptions.”

And then the general public hears:

“We’re letting Ted Bundy live in a co-op with a life coach and free-range chickens.”

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 Who Thought This Would Sell?

Picture this political pitch:

"Okay, hear me out. We’re going to say we want to abolish the institutions that protect people from violent crime. Will the public understand we mean it in a nuanced, academic, transformative-justice framework?"

"They won’t. But TikTok will love it."

 The Real-World Consequence?

Instead of fixing a deeply broken justice system, we let the entire discussion turn into a cage match between:

• One side shouting “Abolish all prisons, period!”

• The other yelling “Keep all prisons and make them worse!”

• And the exhausted majority going, “Can I just not get mugged on the way to work?”

Meanwhile, actual reforms like:

• Ending cash bail,

• Decriminalizing addiction and poverty,

• Reinvesting in reentry programs and mental health care,

…get lost in the noise because “Reasonable Criminal Justice Reform” doesn’t trend.

 Nuance Check: What’s Actually Worth Fighting For?

Here’s what should be on the table:

 Ending mass incarceration.
 Treating drug use as a health issue, not a crime.
 Investing in rehabilitation, education, and job training.
 Eliminating for-profit prisons.
 Restorative justice options for nonviolent offenses.
 Rebuilding communities, not just locking people up.

But here’s what’s not going to win over voters:

 “Let’s completely eliminate all forms of detention, and we’ll figure out how to deal with violent offenders in the group chat.”

 Look, I’d Love a Utopia Too…

In an ideal world:

• People wouldn’t commit crimes.

• Justice would be restorative, not punitive.

• Everyone would get therapy, housing, a living wage, and free kombucha.

But until then, we need to be realistic:

• Some people need to be locked up—for their safety and everyone else’s.

• Reform doesn’t mean anarchy.

• And yelling “Abolish Prisons!” into a megaphone in a Whole Foods parking lot is not a policy plan.

 Final Thoughts: Reform ≠ Weakness. Clarity ≠ Selling Out.

You can want justice and believe in consequences.

You can oppose the prison-industrial complex and think serial killers shouldn’t get a “restorative circle” with a singing bowl.

You can be angry, principled, and compassionate without being performative, delusional, or allergic to strategy.

So maybe let’s stop trying to “win the discourse” on Twitter and instead try something wild:

Fix the system. Keep the slogans from sounding like dystopian satire.