masculinity

Masculinity

 

Is masculinity dead? Is it the fault of some feminist or gay agenda? Was it caused by the bun-wearing guys with lattes and avocado toasts? Was it due to the unholy atheists? Of course not. But there are unfortunately a lot of people who think this way, especially those who believe that masculinity is really on the decline. But is it really?

Some people want there to be a single mold for men: tough, rugged, thick-skinned, fearless, always pushing himself to the limit, willing to die for his country, willing to provide for his wife and children, believing in God, being heterosexual, peeing while standing, and rejecting anything deemed feminine. Who fits this mold? Very few men do. And here's the thing: most men never fit that mold, nor had they ever.

Throughout history and across cultures, masculinity has always been far more diverse and nuanced than modern critics would have us believe. In ancient Greece, for philosophers like Plato and Aristotle, masculinity was deeply tied to intellectual pursuit. Their strength came not from muscles alone, but from their ability to think deeply and question morality. For them, being a man meant engaging with ideas, not just wielding weapons.

Look at feudal Japan, where the samurai were expected to master both the arts of war and peace. These warriors weren't just fierce fighters; they were poets, artists, and philosophers. They practiced calligraphy, arranged flowers, and wrote poetry with the same dedication they brought to their martial training. This wasn't seen as diminishing their masculinity – it was essential to it.

Even more striking is the Native American tradition of "Two-Spirit" people. Research shows that more than 150 different pre-colonial Native American tribes acknowledged third genders in their communities. These individuals weren't outcasts; they were often revered members of their communities, recognized as experts in traditional arts and spiritual practices. Their existence challenges the very notion that masculinity and femininity must be rigid, separate categories.

Today, in Scandinavian countries, we see yet another model. Sweden has become a pioneer in showing how men can be both strong and nurturing, where men are increasingly seen in caretaking roles without any loss of their masculine identity. They've proven that being a devoted father and showing emotional intelligence doesn't make you any less of a man.

There've always been men who had an interest in "feminine" things. There've always been men who were pacifists. There've always been men who have romantic attraction to men. There've always been men who were skinny or overweight. Men have been poets, performers, cooks. There have been men who liked wearing dresses and high heels, even makeup. There have been men who always cared for others and have been teaching and healing people.

The idea that masculinity is on the decline is laughably false. What's declining are the societal expectations men were forced to perform, whether they liked it or not. There's less pressure to push anything on boys like they better stop crying or that a "real man" is supposed to be XYZ. That is actually a good thing because those expectations have been damaging men for so long, contributing to issues like suicide.

The idea that a man was supposed to be a muscle-headed soldier is absurd. There's only one Arnold Schwarzenegger, there's only one Sylvester Stallone, and there's only one Genghis Khan. You get my point. Men who fight in wars are not all conquerors; they fight because they were trained to and made to. Today's veterans, both men and women, suffer from PTSD. This should tell you that mindless killing was never natural to us.

The world is changing, and there's now less need for men to push themselves to their limit, less need for war. The reason masculinity appears to be "on a decline" is really due to no longer needing to condition men to be a certain way anymore. It's not making men weak; it's revealing men for who they really are and always have been. They were never weak; they were strong and always had been.

Every man is unique, with emotions, thoughts, and feelings of their own. There's nothing wrong with that. I find it hilarious that for someone who lives in a country that values individuality, we don't want men to be individuals. We want them to be a one-size-fits-all "straight man" who'll just treat women like servants, or die in combat, or enjoy blood sports, drink beer or whiskey, love fast cars, provide for his family at the cost of his life – and he should never ever admit pain, and if he ever was a victim of abuse or trauma, then he should shut up.

Think about the show "King of the Hill." Hank, including his father Cotton, represents the kind of man who thinks men should be God-fearing, straight, love beer, sports, mowing lawns, expect women to take care of the house, go to war, and always obey. Anytime someone like Bobby takes an interest in anything "unmanly," they freak out. The only reason they did was because they were conditioned to think a certain way.

No, masculinity is not dead. It was never what they thought it was about. They had twisted and mutilated men into fitting into a mold they wanted him to be, but he was never himself. If men were to be left alone and grow up without the irrational expectations of them, they would be as we are now: their authentic selves. That to me is true masculinity.

I want to be clear: it's not that men shouldn't fight when they need to, be brave or strong. It's not that men shouldn't enjoy sports or beer or anything like that. It's that men should just be themselves and stop worrying about what other men do. It's ironic because what you do in life doesn't diminish who you are as a man. A man who enjoys a martini is just as manly as a man who enjoys strong whiskey or ale. A man enjoying reading is just as manly as a football player. People can disagree with that all they want, but what matters is that we’re not a monolith and how a man lives his life doesn’t have any affect on you.

How men were seen through cultures and history have always been different. It didn’t cause a society to collapse. Whenever men start crying, expressing pain, talking about their trauma, or talking about certain interests, they are criticized and ridiculed. Why does it scare people if a guy talks about his feelings or even his trauma? Why do people have to act like if a guy cries then he’s useless and incapable of defending himself or his family? It doesn’t. this wasn’t the sign of weakness, the way people react and treat him is the real weakness.